====== Jokes ======

I wish I could remember a fraction of the great one liners I hear regularly at live comedy shows.  See also [[Would you rather]].


  * In reference to his ex girlfriend (at a comedy rap battle): "A night with her is like a pint of Tennents, absolutely no head and a slight aftertaste of metal"
  * "I've been depressed for a few years.  Ever since I coached a swimming team back in college for a big race.  I said 'Everybody, today I want you to all swim like you never have before!' A lotta people drowned that day"
  * "My girlfriend has Vajazzles and she's put on a lot of weight recently.  Now it looks like someone kicked in a disco ball."

**New film names you can come up with by adding one letter:**
  * The Spy Who Loved Men
  * Diet Hard
  * Citizen Kanye
  * Irony Man
  * Ex-Men
  * Shaving Private Ryan
  * The Hoarse Whisperer
  * The Green Smile
  * Speedo
  * The Thingy
  * The 400 Year Old Virgin
  * Harry Pottery
  * The Dark Knight Rinses