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- | * In reference to his ex girlfriend (at a comedy rap battle): "A night with here is like a pint of Tennents, absolutely no head and a slight aftertaste of metal" | + | ====== Jokes ====== |
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+ | I wish I could remember a fraction of the great one liners I hear regularly at live comedy shows. See also [[Would you rather]]. | ||
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+ | * In reference to his ex girlfriend (at a comedy rap battle): "A night with her is like a pint of Tennents, absolutely no head and a slight aftertaste of metal" | ||
+ | * "I've been depressed for a few years. Ever since I coached a swimming team back in college for a big race. I said 'Everybody, today I want you to all swim like you never have before!' A lotta people drowned that day" | ||
+ | * "My girlfriend has Vajazzles and she's put on a lot of weight recently. Now it looks like someone kicked in a disco ball." | ||
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+ | **New film names you can come up with by adding one letter:** | ||
+ | * The Spy Who Loved Men | ||
+ | * Diet Hard | ||
+ | * Citizen Kanye | ||
+ | * Irony Man | ||
+ | * Ex-Men | ||
+ | * Shaving Private Ryan | ||
+ | * The Hoarse Whisperer | ||
+ | * The Green Smile | ||
+ | * Speedo | ||
+ | * The Thingy | ||
+ | * The 400 Year Old Virgin | ||
+ | * Harry Pottery | ||
+ | * The Dark Knight Rinses |