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I wish I could remember a fraction of the great one liners I hear regularly at live comedy shows. See also Would you rather.

  • In reference to his ex girlfriend (at a comedy rap battle): “A night with her is like a pint of Tennents, absolutely no head and a slight aftertaste of metal”
  • “I've been depressed for a few years. Ever since I coached a swimming team back in college for a big race. I said 'Everybody, today I want you to all swim like you never have before!' A lotta people drowned that day”
  • “My girlfriend has Vajazzles and she's put on a lot of weight recently. Now it looks like someone kicked in a disco ball.”

New film names you can come up with by adding one letter:

  • The Spy Who Loved Men
  • Diet Hard
  • Citizen Kanye
  • Irony Man
  • Ex-Men
  • Shaving Private Ryan
  • The Hoarse Whisperer
  • The Green Smile
  • Speedo
  • The Thingy
  • The 400 Year Old Virgin
  • Harry Pottery
  • The Dark Knight Rinses
jokes.txt · Last modified: 2020/02/12 16:32 by neil