This is an old revision of the document!
Jokes
I wish I could remember a fraction of the great one liners I hear regularly at live comedy shows. See also Would you rather.
In reference to his ex girlfriend (at a comedy rap battle): “A night with her is like a pint of Tennents, absolutely no head and a slight aftertaste of metal”
“I've been depressed for a few years. Ever since I coached a swimming team back in college for a big race. I said 'Everybody, today I want you to all swim like you never have before!' A lotta people drowned that day”
“My girlfriend has Vajazzles and she's put on a lot of weight recently. Now it looks like someone kicked in a disco ball.”